North Carolina recognizes two types of marriage termination. One is absolute divorce, which dissolves the marriage completely. The other is divorce from bed and board, which serves as a legal separation that resolves various issues but does not free the spouses to remarry. If you have reached the point of no return and are ready for an absolute divorce, North Carolina law can be quite frustrating, because there are only two grounds available:

• Separation for one year — If you have lived apart from your spouse for one year, and at least one of you has been a North Carolina resident for at least six months, you can get an absolute divorce.
• Incurable insanity — If your spouse has been diagnosed with a permanent mental illness and you have lived apart for three years, you may be able to get an absolute divorce. However, you are required to present testimony on your spouse’s illness from two doctors, one of whom must be a qualified psychiatrist.

The separation ground does not require either party to allege fault, but it does require that you and your spouse maintain separate residences during the one-year period. If you spend even a single night under the same roof, you must start your separation period over at the beginning.

Many people in unhappy marriages are eager to get more immediate legal protection, so they opt to obtain a divorce from bed and board, also known as a mensa et thoro, as a first step. The grounds for this type of legal arrangement are:

• Abandonment — This occurs when one spouse leaves the marital home without obtaining approval of their husband or wife.
• Being maliciously turned out of the residence — This ground applies if a spouse is physically ejected from the home or is prevented from returning because their partner has changed the locks. It can also be used when one spouse shuts the other out emotionally.
• Cruel or barbarous treatment — A spouse whose life is in danger can obtain a divorce from bed and board.
• Indignities that make life intolerable — Under this ground, spouses can support their petition by citing various “indignities,” types of behavior that can make marital life intolerable.
• Habitual drunkenness or drug addiction — A medical diagnosis of alcoholism or drug abuse isn’t necessarily needed here, but a spouse making this allegation must show that their partner’s problem has led the marriage to break down.
• Adultery — A spouse’s sexual relationship outside the marriage can trigger a divorce from bed and board and might be reflected in alimony and other determinations if the marriage is eventually terminated.

With a divorce from bed and board, you can settle your divorce issues up front and then dissolve the marriage in an absolute divorce once the required waiting period passes.